I just watched an episode of Jason Silva’s «Shots of Awe»: “The Urge to Create” and I feel moved, shocked, inspired, shaken and scared (¡Gracias Jason! lol).
Scared of an old story that has hunted me for a long, long, very long time.
A story many can relate, for what I’ve heard:
I’m afraid of not having what it takes to be as good as I believe I need to be; as I want to be; as good as the people I admire and respect.
I’m afraid of not being supported financially as I shift to that version of me that is “good enough”, and I invest the time and energy that I believe it would take me to manifest the results I desire.
I’m afraid I will continue feeling afraid forever.
I’m afraid of being… not good enough.
My experience is that of a nasty cocktail of thoughts and feelings of comparison, insufficiency, lack, fear. Sometimes even panic of the white canvas life is.
In the middle of my emotional turmoil, I feel pushed to an edge I’m so scared to face: that of raw authenticity.
Afraid of being exposed and utterly honest. Naked to the eyes of the world. Right on the hot seat.
And I resist. It feels so scary that I don’t allow myself to explore my emotional concoction.
And then… It hits me. I remember…
Whatever I say it is, it is!
I can choose my what this is.
I can choose my perspective. And there’s nothing else defining my experience than that: a perspective.
Nothing is something until I say so. Until I have an observation, an opinion, a definition for it.
And all of the sudden… when I give myself the permission to choose a different perspective, I experience bursts of bliss and excitement!
That exhilarating feeling is also within me along with “the fear”!
In fact, at this point –as crazy as it sounds compared to what I was feeling few minutes ago– while focused on the excitement, I don’t feel “fear”. Because I am not labeling my inner experience as such.
I feel a feeling, yes. But it does not threaten me.
I can stay present with the emotion. And feel it.
Without the panic that overcomes me when seeing it as “fear”. More than that, without seeing myself as the fear.
I then laugh out loud in amusement. Deeply feeling the power of knowingness, and even true peace, beyond my human condition.
You see? When it comes to fears, this is The Secret:
The only way to cross the bridge of what you call “fear”… is to go through it. To find yourself on that bridge. To feel the path under your feet. To face, embrace and stay with that feeling without trying to run away from it.
And that’s the whole point!
You can’t stop feeling the feeling you call being afraid if you don’t go through it. <– This may sound simple but do yourself a favor and go back to read it again…
Can you feel how powerful that is?
You can’t have an apple in your stomach until you eat it.
You can’t feel the freshness of having had a bath until you had one.
If you’re feeling something you name feeling afraid and want to be over with it and feel different, in alignment, free, at peace… allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling.
Including whatever you call fear. Bask in it. Face it. Touch it. See it. Dance with it. Squeeze the juice out of it… until there’s no more.
What comes after that?
More of your #TrueSelf <3
Now, from here, take one step at a time. Because there are many more bridges to cross, many more canvases to paint, many more waves to ride and adventures to live.
And you can choose the perspective from which to relate to them, again and again and again.
Be kind to yourself. And remember that even if you can fly… you have to do it one wing-beat at a time.
P.S. Background music while writing was random. I did not choose it deliberately but it was perfect! Even their names! Racing Against the Sunset, by Philip Wesley on Dark Night Of The Soul; and Perseverance, by Michele McLaughlin on Out of The Darkness. Thank you Pandora!